Being able to build relationships at the workplace is as easy as three items:
1. People who are exactly like you do.
2. People with exactly the same needs as you.
3. people with a perfect relationship with you.
If you don’t have any of these three characteristics I’d call you normal. If you do possess these three traits you’re most likely to come with three siblings – groupthink stagnation, mediocrity and groupthink.
The truth is, we bring differing perspectives, goals and backgrounds to the workplace. We all have different perspectives on the world, and have different choices when it comes to how we conduct our work.
The differences in these two areas don’t help you connect or to resolve problems or make decisions. And,
If these differences aren’t resolved, work is often dissatisfying, dispiriting and uninteresting. It requires a lot of energy to make it through the day, and our resumes are often in need of a fresh start.
Are there people who are on your team you’d like to lessen conflicts and improve your relations?
Three tools are here to aid you.
1. Understand Your Style Differences.
Certain people are confident and bold in their method of accomplishing their goals. Others prefer to be more systematic. Certain people are more focused on numbers and facts, while others prefer to focus prefer to focus on the human side on the spectrum. All of these approaches are either right or wrong. They’re simply different. Each brings strengths to the team. However when they are used too much the strengths could turn into limitations. Begin by meeting with your team member and determine where your style are alike and distinct and create an action plan to bridge the gap. I frequently utilize the DiSC profile as well as the comparative reports to assist with this process.
2. Identify Unmet Underlying Needs.
People frequently argue over surface-level issues. “I’m tired of not being able to count on her..” or “she is so rude. …” The majority of conflicts are caused by insufficient requirements. It’s time to peel back the layers of the onion with your coworker. What are your primary need that is not being met? How is it with his or hers? Do you think it’s respect? Acceptance? Honesty? Autonomy? Let’s get to the heart of the issue and discover your real needs.
3. Accept your past and allow it to go.
If you’ve had several of your colleagues for a long period of time there’s a reason you’ve got a story. There are instances when you’ve had your best moments and less-than-stellar. Everyone has transformed, grown and developed new perspectives. Sometimes, relationships are stuck in the baggage and the history people have shared. It’s not hard to imagine what I’m talking about …”and you then were doing this…and the next time you do this…and after that, you’ve done this” although it’s only five years ago. Be honest about your story then acknowledge how you are feeling about the situation, and finally let go. It is time to start from scratch. new beginnings.
Are you in need of assistance with your relationships at work? Take the time to learn about the differences in your personality, determine gaps in your needs, and recognize and release your past.
Or, you can find individuals to work with that are like you.
Sal Silvester is the founder and president of 5.12 Solutions (five-twelve) and the author of the Ultimate Goal Setting Guide and Ignite! The 4 Essential Rules for Emerging Leaders.
Leading teams and teams is Sal’s forte and his unique view was cultivated through his experience over the last 20 years working as an Army Officer, a senior executive at Accenture and the the founder of 5.12 Solutions. He has managed and led teams in the deserts of Kuwait as well as in the mountain ranges of Turkey and at the workplaces of numerous clients in improvements in process, organizational changes as well as training projects.